Through the Yellow Door- A Mother’s Journey to Kindergarten

Dealing with the First Day of Kindergarten

The yellow door is the FIRST of many… that I cannot follow you through. I can only have faith that you’ll be okay with your new Kindergarten crew.

Gone are the long days of motherhood when we explored together- front carrying, hiking, stroller running, biking- in spite of the crazy Colorado weather.

As a working parent with a business of my own, I thought I was entirely ready for you to embark on your new school zone.

Yet, your first day of school rocked my world! The second the music came on for the parade, many tears I displayed.

It felt like a train was leaving and you were aboard. As I waved from the platform, all I could do on my camera was hit record.

The mommy part of me wanted to go back in time and cherish more moments with you, while the working woman part of me understood all day school would allow a career breakthrough.

That first day and admittedly several after, tears welled up in my eyes and a lump formed in my throat after you hesitated, then walked and eventually ran through that yellow door with your coat.

Before I knew it, you were ready and asking for “hug and go”. Would you be safe entering through the front door? How would I know? With your huge dinosaur pack and faux hawk hairstyle, it was easy for me to spot you from a mile.

Through the yellow door, you’ve created your own memories of reading, writing, and arithmetic. You have your own unique strengths and others that seem genetic.

Through the yellow door, your teachers engage your imagination and infinite energy through Leprechaun traps, The Magic School Bus show, and brain break psychology.

Through the yellow door, you’ve made some wonderful connections with your devoted teachers and adorable new friends that help you feel more loved and have Pokemon playdates on the weekends.

On the other side of the yellow door, I have had to launch too. It was much harder than I thought, but the alternative would be drowning in a grief stew. Mourning a loss is healthy and normal for parents with a heart. Life transitions for our children afford us a brand new start. Pursuing our dreams and goals allow us to transcend challenges and grow. This encourages our young children since we are their hero.

You’re growing up. No longer my baby. And although this loss hurts, I am so impressed with you for confidently walking through that yellow door and not only learning all that Kindergarteners do, but also for inspiring me to walk through new doors in my life too.

The yellow door was the FIRST of many… that I could not follow you through. You were more than okay and I’m SO proud of you and your Kindergarten crew.

(Poem by Lana Isaacson, LCSW, CAC III)

If you are a parent struggling with your child’s upcoming transitions, I can help you. Read more about Couples Therapy for Parents, Contact Me, or schedule your free 30 minute couple consultation here.