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What I've Learned from 20 Years of Marriage

"If I hadn't found you... I'd probably be driving somebody else nuts." In close to 21 years, this is my favorite wedding anniversary card I have received from my partner. Of course, I love the poetic language from other cards, but this…

Healing from Attachment Injuries & Other Betrayals

"The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong at the broken places.” - Ernest Hemingway Have you experienced an incident in which your partner failed to respond to you at a moment of urgent need, which disproportionately has shaped…

Do You Feel Like a 3rd Wheel in Your Marriage?

What does being a "third wheel" in your intimate relationship feel like?! Do you ... feel second to something or someone else in your spouse/partner's life? experience a sense of competition or rivalry with activities or relationships…
Have Your Partner's Back and Heart

Have Your Partner's Back and Heart at the Holidays & Family Events

Did you know that the holidays stress out 88% of Americans? You might be thinking of the cooking, the cleaning, the gift buying, deciding where and with whom to celebrate as the causes, but what I hear from my clients, friends, and even family…

21st Century Relationship Skills

"The problem couples are having today is history," according to Terry Real, a couples therapy and gender expert. “If you are like the millions of men and women who feel dissatisfied, you have been trying to negotiate a 21st century relationship…
How to Fail at Marriage

The Top 5 Losing Relationship Strategies (in The New Rules of Marriage)

Relationship strategies that sabotage your marriage As a couples therapist, I often initially hear “We love each other, but...” “We can't communicate. And when we fight, we never get any resolution.” “I can't trust him/her.…
Therapy for Couples Denver CO
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Sex, Mess, Kids, Work, & Money- Resolving the Most Common Couple Issues by Going Deeper

When couples come into therapy, they're typically in a lot of pain and confusion and trying their best to make sense of what's gone wrong with their relationship, and what needs to change to make it better. Here are some things they say: "We…

Fighting Well for Both Partners to Win!

Why is fighting (hot conflict) or avoidance/emotional distance (cold conflict) scary for so many people? I think the answer can be found in the underlying fears that people rarely speak about... the fear of being abandoned the fear of…

Why Love is Not Enough for a Satisfying, Long Lasting Marriage

We hear all of the time that "Love is the answer". I used to think this too... until I had more real world experience in my own marriage and experience as a couple therapist. I still love romance and want my spouse to love and accept me…