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21st Century Relationship Skills

"The problem couples are having today is history," according to Terry Real, a couples therapy and gender expert. “If you are like the millions of men and women who feel dissatisfied, you have been trying to negotiate a 21st century relationship…
How to Fail at Marriage

The Top 5 Losing Relationship Strategies (in The New Rules of Marriage)

Relationship strategies that sabotage your marriage As a couples therapist, I often initially hear “We love each other, but...” “We can't communicate. And when we fight, we never get any resolution.” “I can't trust him/her.…
Winning Marriage Techniques

The Top 5 Winning Relationship Strategies (in The New Rules of Marriage)

Expert relationship strategies to have a healthy, happy, long-lasting marriage When couples bravely enter my office, they are hurting. They want the conflict and/or disconnection to end, and the harmony and love to return. They wish to be heard,…
20 Steps in Dealing with Stress Denver CO
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20 Ways to Cope with Stress

based on: Stress Can Really Get On Your Nerves 1. Breathe Deep Imagine your breath is like a wave that washes your stress out to sea. If you still feel lost when it comes to breathing techniques, here's a super easy one that is guaranteed…
Coping with Panic Attacks | Denver CO

Coping with Panic Attacks

(Source: The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook, 2005, by Edmund J. Bourne, Ph.D.) A panic attack is the sudden onset of intense fear and anxiety that can occur out of the blue or in response to encountering (or just thinking about) a phobic situation. Panic…
Empowerment Therapy Denver

Empowerment at the Deepest Level - IMPACT Personal Safety of Colorado

A self-defense class that changes lives! (Click here for the YouTube Video). What is IMPACT? IMPACT Personal Safety of Colorado (https://www.impact-colorado.org) is a not-for-profit organization dedicated to restoring empowerment and…
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Do You Have a Mother-in-Law? (or any difficult relatives)

The kind that doesn't "wear beige" and has a critical opinion about everything you do or intermittently shares her opinion with you, so you never know when she'll verbally strike? The kind that boasts about her son being "Father of the…
Therapy for Couples Denver CO
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Sex, Mess, Kids, Work, & Money- Resolving the Most Common Couple Issues by Going Deeper

When couples come into therapy, they're typically in a lot of pain and confusion and trying their best to make sense of what's gone wrong with their relationship, and what needs to change to make it better. Here are some things they say: "We…

How Can I Forgive You? The Courage to Forgive, the Freedom Not To

Are you experiencing a relationship wound that occurred recently or decades ago such as... feeling unaccepted, unloved, or unprotected by one of your parents, estrangement from an adult sibling, resentment toward a loved one's addiction…
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Couples in Recovery - Building a Secure Attachment Style

Do you recognize this famous couple in recovery in the photograph below? (portrayed by Winona Ryder & Barry Pepper) *The answer is below... Small, yet SIGNIFICANT hints... The male partner, born in 1895, had a carefree childhood…
A Letter to Parents
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You are the Most Influential Person in Your Child's Life

Dear Parents, YOU ARE THE MOST INFLUENTIAL PERSON IN YOUR CHILD'S LIFE! Therefore, YOU ARE OF COURSE PART OF THE SOLUTION to whatever struggle they're encountering (anxiety, depression, underachievement in school, low self-esteem, anger,…
Enabling Addition
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How to Differentiate Between Helping and Enabling

I believe that enabling is motivated by LOVE and a desire to protect another person from pain. This intention sounds compassionate and service-oriented, and it is to a degree. Yet, with life's experience and 12 step knowledge, I have also learned…
Is there sex after kids?
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Is There Sex After Having Kids?

Is There Sex After Having Kids? How to Preserve Emotional and Physical Intimacy After Having a Child Wisdom passed down about how to successfully transition from couplehood to parenthood is surprisingly sparse. We all hear with excitement…
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Are You in a Codependent, Avoidant, or Securely Attached Relationship?

Codependency is one of the most confused and contested words in the couples therapy field today. There could even be a debate between couples therapists and addiction counselors on whether or not codependency (and the cartoon above!) is healthy or unhealthy. Addiction…
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Fighting Well for Both Partners to Win!

Why is fighting (hot conflict) or avoidance/emotional distance (cold conflict) scary for so many people? I think the answer can be found in the underlying fears that people rarely speak about... the fear of being abandoned the fear of…
Secrets to a Long Lasting Marriage

Why Love is Not Enough for a Satisfying, Long Lasting Marriage

I love romance just as much as anyone else and want my spouse to love and accept me for who I am, and I have also changed my tune about what creates a satisfying, long-lasting marriage after reading relationship expert, Stan Tatkin's books,…
Letting Go of Growing Children

The Kids Grow Up; Letting Go is Hard to Do

“You can get all sorts of help raising a child, but nothing prepares you for letting her go.” - Doug Block, documentary film maker of “The Kids Grow Up; Letting Go is Hard to Do As a parent of a high school senior about to leave home,…
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The Lessons Our Children ("Big Souls on Little Legs") Teach Us

I first heard the expression "Big Souls on Little Legs" at a Love and Logic workshop presented by Barry Ebert, a wise and warm-hearted youth pastor at Mile Hi Church. This phrase captured what helped me survive and later thrive during  my parenting…
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Can I Help My Family Member or Friend with an Addiction?

This is the most common question I hear as an addictions counselor (since 2001). The good news is~ YES, YOU CAN HELP YOUR LOVED ONE GET SOBER! And, if your family needs immediate assistance, call Lana Isaacson, Couples and Family Therapist…
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The Gifts of Imperfect Parenting (based on Brene Brown's work)

“We all know that perfect parenting does not exist, yet we still struggle with the social expectations that teach us that being imperfect is synonymous with being inadequate. These messages are powerful and weend up spending precious time…
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How to Let Go of Shame & Perfectionism

Ten years ago, I came across “The Cracked Pot” story and was moved by the lines, I have always known about your flaw and took advantage of it by planting flower seeds.”Without your being just the way you are, he would not have had this…
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My Story of Becoming a LGBTQ Ally

Strength-based, compassionate therapy for members of the LGBTQ community I am an ally and have been an ally to the LGBTQ community from birth. I grew up with two loving uncles and their community of friends, which felt like a family. I also…
20 Ways to Copy with Depression | Denver CO

Coping with “The Blues”- Healthy Ways to Feel Uplifted!

How is your S.E.L.F. Care? = Sleep Exercise Laugh Food (healthy, of course!) Self-esteem work such as positive affirmations Exercise releases endorphins - “feel good” hormones or play favorite sport Eat healthy or comfort…
10 Techniques to Cope with Anxiety | Denver

The 10 Best-Ever Anxiety Management Techniques

Based on the work by Margaret Wehrenberg (author), 2008 I. Managing the Anxious Body 1. Change Your Intake Limit your C.A.T.S. (caffeine, alcohol, tobacco, & sweetener), Set communication boundaries to reduce always having to be on alert,…
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Compassion Can End Mommy Perfectionism & Competition

“We're killing ourselves trying to be perfect and it's making us insane.” - Amy, Mom of two (Mila Kunis in “Bad Moms”) I think mothers today are lucky to have affirming pop cultural messages from movies like “Bad Moms”, which…

Begin in Savasana & Other Self-Care Ideas for Busy Moms

“Only when we learn that taking care of ourselves is as necessary as taking care of our families; only when we begin to accept ourselves, imperfections and all; only when we permit ourselves to face the limits of what we can do for the people…
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Busy Parents Can Cultivate a Stronger Bond with Their Spouse

Are you a parent who LOVES their children so much that you give them or your work (if you're the sole financial provider) 100%, but then have little energy left over for your spouse at the end of the day? Can you remember the last romantic…