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Do You Feel Like a 3rd Wheel in Your Marriage?

What does being a "third wheel" in your intimate relationship feel like?! Do you ... feel second to something or someone else in your spouse/partner's life? experience a sense of competition or rivalry with activities or relationships…
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Guidelines for Visiting Your Family at the Holidays or Vacations

It's HOLIDAY (or vacation) time!!! On the one hand, you want to be surrounded by family at this nostalgic time of the year (and if you're a parent, you likely value your kids bonding with their cousins and other relatives.) On the other…
Have Your Partner's Back and Heart
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Have Your Partner's Back and Heart at the Holidays & Family Events

Did you know that the holidays stress out 88% of Americans? You might be thinking of the cooking, the cleaning, the gift buying, deciding where and with whom to celebrate as the causes, but what I hear from my clients, friends, and even family…
Setting Boundaries
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Setting Boundaries with Your Most Difficult Family Members

Are you ready to step into the ring with your most difficult family members this holiday season or at your family's next event? Read on for ideas or click this YouTube link if you would like to watch my video. In this blog, you will learn…
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Find Your Power Within

Find your power within at IMPACT's advanced self-defense class "We all come built in with the wiring we need to survive. It's inside all of us - we are knowing and powerful beyond what any of us can comprehend. Wow. Find it and feel it within…
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21st Century Relationship Skills

"The problem couples are having today is history," according to Terry Real, a couples therapy and gender expert. “If you are like the millions of men and women who feel dissatisfied, you have been trying to negotiate a 21st century relationship…
How to Fail at Marriage
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The Top 5 Losing Relationship Strategies (in The New Rules of Marriage)

Relationship strategies that sabotage your marriage As a couples therapist, I often initially hear “We love each other, but...” “We can't communicate. And when we fight, we never get any resolution.” “I can't trust him/her.…
Winning Marriage Techniques

The Top 5 Winning Relationship Strategies (in The New Rules of Marriage)

Expert relationship strategies to have a healthy, happy, long-lasting marriage When couples bravely enter my office, they are hurting. They want the conflict and/or disconnection to end, and the harmony and love to return. They wish to be heard,…
20 Steps in Dealing with Stress Denver CO
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20 Ways to Cope with Stress

Are you struggling with anxiety or stress? Treatment for anxiety or stress may include individual therapy (ex. Mindfulness, CBT, DBT, ACT, Expressive Arts Therapy), group therapy, and/or couples or family therapy, medication, nutrition, and…
Coping with Panic Attacks | Denver CO
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Coping with Panic Attacks

Are you struggling with panic attacks and anxiety or stress in general? I continue to refer clients to Edmund J. Bourne, Ph.D.'s 2005 book, The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook because it has one of the best and most comprehensive chapters on preventing…
Empowerment Therapy Denver
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Empowerment at the Deepest Level - IMPACT Personal Safety of Colorado

A self-defense class that changes lives! (Click here for the YouTube Video). What is IMPACT? IMPACT Personal Safety of Colorado (https://www.impact-colorado.org) is a not-for-profit organization dedicated to restoring empowerment and…
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Will and Jada Pinkett-Smith on Marriage & Recovery

Marriage Lessons Learned Over 20+ Years “I’ve learned that recovery isn’t just for those suffering from substance abuse, but that recovery is about recovering from our traumas, abuse, neglect, abandonment, lack of self-worth, disappointments,…
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Do You Have a Mother-in-Law? (or any difficult relatives)

Do you have a mother-in-law? The kind that doesn't "wear beige" and has a critical opinion about everything you do or intermittently shares her opinion with you, so you never know when she'll verbally strike? The kind that boasts about…
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Couples in Recovery - Building a Secure Attachment Style

Do you recognize this famous couple in recovery in the photograph below? (portrayed by Winona Ryder & Barry Pepper) *The answer is below... Small, yet SIGNIFICANT hints... The male partner, born in 1895, had a carefree childhood…
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How Can I Forgive You? The Courage to Forgive, the Freedom Not To

Are you experiencing a relationship wound that occurred recently or decades ago? For example~ feeling unaccepted, unloved, or unprotected by one of your parents estrangement from an adult sibling resentment toward a loved one's…
Therapy for Couples Denver CO
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Sex, Mess, Kids, Work, & Money- Resolving the Most Common Couple Issues by Going Deeper

When couples come into therapy, they're typically in a lot of pain and confusion and trying their best to make sense of what's gone wrong with their relationship, and what needs to change to make it better. Here are some things they say: "We…
A Letter to Parents
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You are the Most Influential Person in Your Child's Life

Dear Parents, You are the most influential person in your child's life! Therefore, YOU ARE OF COURSE PART OF THE SOLUTION to whatever struggle they're encountering (anxiety, depression, underachievement in school, low self-esteem, anger, self-harm,…
Is there sex after kids?
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Is There Sex After Having Kids?

Is There Sex After Having Kids? How to Preserve Emotional and Physical Intimacy After Having a Child Wisdom passed down about how to successfully transition from couplehood to parenthood is surprisingly sparse. We all hear with excitement…
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How to Differentiate Between Helping and Enabling

I believe that enabling is motivated by LOVE and a desire to protect another person from pain. This intention sounds compassionate and service-oriented, and it is to a degree. Yet, with life's experience and 12 step knowledge, I have also learned…
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Are You in a Codependent, Avoidant, or Securely Attached Relationship?

Codependency is one of the most confused and contested words in the couples therapy field today. There could even be a debate between couples therapists and addiction counselors on whether or not codependency (and the cartoon above!) is healthy…
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Fighting Well for Both Partners to Win!

Why is fighting (hot conflict) or avoidance/emotional distance (cold conflict) scary for so many people? I think the answer can be found in the underlying fears that people rarely speak about... the fear of being abandoned the fear of…
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Why Love is Not Enough for a Satisfying, Long Lasting Marriage

We hear all of the time that "Love is the answer". I used to think this too... until I had more real world experience in my own marriage and experience as a couple therapist. I still love romance and want my spouse to love and accept me…
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How to Get Your Adult Child Out of Your Basement and Into a Thriving, Independent Life

As a couples and family therapist, I have heard numerous… distressing stories of 20, 30, 40, and even 50 somethings still living in their parents' basement using drugs, playing video games, or just hanging out (with perpetual and creative…
double pinky promise
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Double Pinky Promise

As you may recall, I wrote a poem called "Through the Yellow Door" about my struggle with my son's transition to Kindergarten and my realization that the only way to let go and move forward was for me to mourn and launch, too (which are actual…
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The Kids Grow Up; Letting Go is Hard to Do

“You can get all sorts of help raising a child, but nothing prepares you for letting her go.” - Doug Block, documentary film maker of “The Kids Grow Up; Letting Go is Hard to Do As a parent of a high school senior about to leave home,…