couples therapy
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5 Levels of Communication & Closeness You Can Experience with Your Intimate Partner

No matter what your attachment style is, you crave some level of emotional intimacy and connection.  You may just want to be heard and understood or perhaps deeply feel seen and soothed. But it may feel impossible to increase the intimacy…

What is emotional intimacy?

When couples begin therapy, I get asked a lot of great questions~ “What is emotional intimacy? Why would I want to learn this skill?  and eventually, "How can I strengthen this skill?”  First, why would I want to learn this skill? By…
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Beyond Roommates~ Top 5 Tips to have a Closer, More Intimate Connection

Do you love your partner and feel like you’re a great team or co-parents, but sense that something is missing in your relationship? Some of the most common concerns I hear from couples today are:  We've become roommates, and no longer…

Men CAN Do Empathy Too! Here's How...

(Therapist and young adult client in the classic film, “Ordinary People”) What’s the difference between the two? Men running into a burning building or men ‘running into’ their emotions?! Fire fighters get massive amount of…

Everything you Need to Know about Empathy~ To Have the Relationships You Long For

A surprising source of relationship WISDOM The Story of Eli & Adi~ At three years old, my son, Eli saw his friend Adi crying when her finger got caught in a door. He reached out to hug her, but she said, "No". In EFT (Emotionally Focused…
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How to have hard conversations- that go well!

The #1 problem couples and families identify when seeking therapy~ "We can't communicate." The #1 goal couples and families identify when seeking therapy~ "We need tools for better communication." Since most couples and families LOVE each…
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Top 5 Techniques for Adults Thriving with ADHD

"ADHD is both a liability and a super power!" This is one of my favorite quotes by Dr. Ed Hallowell, MD (a world-renowned expert on ADHD who also has this condition, in addition to dyslexia). Dr. Hallowell understands the struggles of living…
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Transform Your Vicious Cycle Into Positive, Loving Connection

This blog is for any couple or family members who feel caught in negative patterns of disconnection and distress with the people they LOVE. It IS possible to improve your relationships. Read on to learn how. Do you and your partner (or family…
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How Can You Live Like That?! Couples with ADHD

ADHD in adults is real and can drive partners crazy! It can also be treated, and marriages can be saved. Find out how. There was a moment during my first year of marriage that I will always remember. I had moved in to my husband's house…
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Self-Compassion- One of the Most Healing Gifts

How do you talk to yourself about your challenges and setbacks in life (that we all face)- whether large or small, your shortcomings, or missing the mark?  Dr. Kristin Neff advises~ "Instead of mercilessly judging and criticizing yourself…

Addiction Divides Us, Recovery Unites Us (dance piece)

As you watch my dance piece... 1. Notice what emotions and thoughts come up for you. 2. Ask yourself which family role you identify with (as a child and possibly as an adult)~ Scapegoat, Hero, Mascot, Lost Child, Enabler, Victim ("Patient"). 3.…
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Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway!

"Fear keeps us from experiencing life the way we want to experience it. We can't escape fear. We can only transform it into a companion that will accompany us through all of our exciting adventures." Susan Jeffers, PhD, author of Feel the…

Cultivating Fearlessness through Spiritual Warriorship

"The spiritual journey: life's journey: means working with your fear. It starts with a smile." Pema Chodron This is how a recent article in Lion's Roar began. I was immediately drawn in and intrigued to find out how someone could possibly smile…
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Healing from Attachment Injuries & Other Betrayals

"The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong at the broken places.” - Ernest Hemingway Have you experienced an incident in which your partner failed to respond to you at a moment of urgent need, which disproportionately has shaped…
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How to Let Go of Resentments- A Step by Step Process

We all have heard that saying: "Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die." So, how does one exactly just LET IT GO?! (violation, abuse, humiliation, injustice, etc.) Similarly, how do people live (not just…
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What Makes for a Good Apology? The Secret to Effective Repairs

Did you know that apologizing or making an "effective repair" is one of the most important skills in a relationship? It's actually well-known across couple therapy models that making a mistake is not the culprit in divorce. It's the lack of…
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Top 10 Tips for New Mamas

Motherhood is a universal and unique journey for everyone. No matter if it's "the fastest path to enlightenment", the most profound love you've ever experienced for another human being or the depths of despair if you're experiencing postpartum…
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Top 10 Parenting Strategies- Timeless Guidelines from Love & Logic

As a new parent, I remember a friend saying, "Parenting is the hardest job you'll ever love." This description definitely fit for my son's first year when he barely slept and cried a lot as a colicky baby and yet I still had the deepest…
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Do You Feel Like a 3rd Wheel in Your Marriage?

What does being a "third wheel" in your intimate relationship feel like?! Do you ... feel second to something or someone else in your spouse/partner's life? experience a sense of competition or rivalry with activities or relationships…
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Guidelines for Visiting Your Family at the Holidays or Vacations

It's HOLIDAY (or vacation) time! Most people want to be surrounded by FAMILY (whether this is their real family, chosen family or longed for family) at this nostalgic time of the year. (And if you're a parent, you likely value your kids bonding…
Have Your Partner's Back and Heart
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Have Your Partner's Back and Heart at the Holidays & Family Events

Did you know that the holidays stress out 88% of Americans? You might be thinking of the cooking, the cleaning, the gift buying, deciding where and with whom to celebrate as the causes, but what I hear from my clients, friends, and even family…
Setting Boundaries
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Setting Boundaries with Your Most Difficult Family Members

Are you ready to step into the ring with your most difficult family members this holiday season or at your family's next event? Read on for ideas. In this blog, you will learn how to effectively set boundaries with: THE 5 MOST DIFFICULT…
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Find Your Power Within

Find your power within at IMPACT's advanced self-defense class "We all come built in with the wiring we need to survive. It's inside all of us - we are knowing and powerful beyond what any of us can comprehend. Wow. Find it and feel it within…
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21st Century Relationship Skills

"The problem couples are having today is history," according to Terry Real, a couples therapy and gender expert. “If you are like the millions of men and women who feel dissatisfied, you have been trying to negotiate a 21st century relationship…
How to Fail at Marriage
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The Top 5 Losing Relationship Strategies (in The New Rules of Marriage)

Relationship strategies that sabotage your marriage As a couples therapist, I often initially hear “We love each other, but...” “We can't communicate. And when we fight, we never get any resolution.” “I can't trust him/her.…