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Do You Have a Mother-in-Law? (or any difficult relatives)

Do you have a mother-in-law? The kind that doesn't "wear beige" and has a critical opinion about everything you do or intermittently shares her opinion with you, so you never know when she'll verbally strike. The kind that boasts about…
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How Can I Forgive You? The Courage to Forgive, the Freedom Not To

Are you experiencing a relationship wound that occurred recently or decades ago? For example~ feeling unaccepted, unloved, or unprotected by one of your parents estrangement from an adult sibling resentment toward a loved one's…
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Couples in Recovery - Building a Secure Attachment Style

Do you recognize this famous couple in recovery in the photograph below? (portrayed by Winona Ryder & Barry Pepper) *The answer is below... Small, yet SIGNIFICANT hints... The male partner, born in 1895, had a carefree childhood…
Therapy for Couples Denver CO
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Sex, Mess, Kids, Work, & Money- Resolving the Most Common Couple Issues by Going Deeper

When couples come into therapy, they're typically in a lot of pain and confusion and trying their best to make sense of what's gone wrong with their relationship, and what needs to change to make it better. Here are some things they say: "We…
Is there sex after kids?
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Is There Sex After Having Kids?

Is There Sex After Having Kids? How to Preserve Emotional and Physical Intimacy After Having a Child Wisdom passed down about how to successfully transition from couplehood to parenthood is surprisingly sparse. We all hear with excitement…
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How to Differentiate Between Helping and Enabling

I believe that enabling is motivated by LOVE and a desire to protect another person from pain. This intention sounds compassionate and service-oriented, and it is to a degree. Yet, with life's experience and 12 step knowledge, I have also learned…
A Letter to Parents

You are the Most Influential Person in Your Child's Life

Dear Parents, You are the most influential person in your child's life! Therefore, YOU ARE OF COURSE PART OF THE SOLUTION to whatever struggle they're encountering (anxiety, depression, underachievement in school, low self-esteem, anger, self-harm,…

Are You in a Codependent, Avoidant, or Securely Attached Relationship?

Codependency is one of the most confused and contested words in the couples therapy field today. There could even be a debate between couples therapists and addiction counselors on whether or not codependency (and the cartoon above!) is healthy…
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Fighting Well for Both Partners to Win!

Why is fighting (hot conflict) or avoidance/emotional distance (cold conflict) scary for so many people? I think the answer can be found in the underlying fears that people rarely speak about... the fear of being abandoned the fear of…
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Why Love is Not Enough for a Satisfying, Long Lasting Marriage

We hear all of the time that "Love is the answer". I used to think this too... until I had more real world experience in my own marriage and experience as a couple therapist. I still love romance and want my spouse to love and accept me…
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How to Get Your Adult Child Out of Your Basement and Into a Thriving, Independent Life

As a couples and family therapist, I have heard numerous… distressing stories of 20, 30, 40, and even 50 somethings still living in their parents' basement using drugs, playing video games, or just hanging out (with perpetual and creative…

Double Pinky Promise- A Mother's Journey with her 1st Grader

As you may recall, I wrote a poem called "Through the Yellow Door" about my struggle with my son's transition to Kindergarten and my realization that the only way to let go and move forward was for me to mourn and launch, too (which are actual…
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The Kids Grow Up; Letting Go is Hard to Do

“You can get all sorts of help raising a child, but nothing prepares you for letting her go.” - Doug Block, documentary film maker of “The Kids Grow Up; Letting Go is Hard to Do As a parent of a high school senior about to leave home,…

The Lessons Our Children ("Big Souls on Little Legs") Teach Us

I first heard the expression "Big Souls on Little Legs" at a Love and Logic workshop presented by Barry Ebert, a wise and warm-hearted youth pastor at Mile Hi Church. This phrase captured what helped me survive and later thrive during  my parenting…
Offering help
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Can I Help My Family Member or Friend with an Addiction?

This is the most common question I hear as an addictions counselor (since 2001). The good news is~ YES, YOU CAN HELP YOUR LOVED ONE GET SOBER! And, if your family needs immediate assistance, call Lana Isaacson, Couples and Family Therapist…
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How to Let Go of Shame & Perfectionism

Ten years ago, I came across “The Cracked Pot” story and was moved by the lines, I have always known about your flaw and took advantage of it by planting flower seeds.”Without your being just the way you are, he would not have had this…
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My Story of Being an LGBTQ Ally from birth

Here's my unique story of growing up both in Boys Town & a "typical" Chicago suburb~ I AM AN ALLY and have been an ally to the LGBTQ community from birth. I grew up with two loving uncles and their community of friends, which felt like…
20 Ways to Copy with Depression | Denver CO
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Coping with “The Blues”- Healthy Ways to Feel Uplifted!

Are you struggling with depression or "the blues"? Treatment for depression may include individual, group (ex. CBT or DBT), and/or couples or family therapy, medication, nutrition, self-help coping skills, and sometimes more intensive treatments,…
10 Techniques to Cope with Anxiety | Denver
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The 10 Best-Ever Anxiety Management Techniques

Based on the work by Margaret Wehrenberg (author), 2008 I. Managing the Anxious Body 1. Change Your Intake Limit your C.A.T.S. (caffeine, alcohol, tobacco, & sweetener), Set communication boundaries to reduce always having to be on alert,…
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Compassion Can End Mommy Perfectionism & Competition

“We're killing ourselves trying to be perfect and it's making us insane.” - Amy, Mom of two (Mila Kunis in “Bad Moms”) I think mothers today are lucky to have affirming pop cultural messages from movies like “Bad Moms”, which…
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Begin in Savasana & Other Self-Care Ideas for Busy Moms

“Only when we learn that taking care of ourselves is as necessary as taking care of our families; only when we begin to accept ourselves, imperfections and all; only when we permit ourselves to face the limits of what we can do for the people…
Dealing with the First Day of Kindergarten
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Through the Yellow Door- A Mother's Journey to Kindergarten

The yellow door is the FIRST of many... that I cannot follow you through. I can only have faith that you'll be okay with your new Kindergarten crew. Gone are the long days of motherhood when we explored together- front carrying, hiking, stroller…