When Both Partners Need to Heal: Navigating Recovery Together

What an honor!

My colleague Jason Polk, LCSW, LAC and I were interviewed by Drew Powell on the Valiant Living podcast on the topic of couples in recovery, a passion that we all share. My favorite segment is about 13 minutes (47:05 – 1:00) when Drew courageously shares his fear and some of the profound pieces of recovery work he has personally done. Valiant Living is a treatment program in Denver for men and their partners.

Below is Drew’s description of the episode~

The addictive patterns that tear relationships apart can actually become the path to deeper connection when partners learn to face them together. In this deeply moving episode, couple therapists Lana Isaacson and Jason Polk share professional wisdom and personal experiences about the complex journey of recovery within committed relationships.

They introduce the concept of “the addiction dance”—those unconscious, destructive patterns couples unknowingly co-create that keep them trapped in cycles of disconnection. Both therapists candidly discuss their own experiences with addiction and family systems, demonstrating how healing occurs when we move beyond shame to examine what drives our behaviors. “The pattern is the enemy, not your partner,” becomes a revolutionary frame that allows couples to stand together rather than against each other. This shift creates space for vulnerability, which both therapists identify as the essential ingredient for rebuilding trust.

Through powerful examples, they illustrate how true healing happens when a partner’s pain is fully witnessed rather than fixed or dismissed. Particularly moving is the discussion about disclosure in recovery relationships—that terrifying process of allowing yourself to be fully known after years of hiding. As one partner shared~

When you experience love for the first time because they’ve seen all of you and still choose you…that’s another level I want for everyone.